this isn’t completely terrible, vol. 1: red house furniture

I’ve realized recently that I rarely, if ever, talk about the things in life that I actually ENJOY. Unfortunately, I am generally so overtaken by my general hate for the human species that I overlook the small things that make life beautiful.

You see, it’s not that I don’t LOVE other humans – it’s just that I don’t LIKE you. Most importantly, I’m egalitarian about my hate. Don’t worry. I hate you just like I hate every one else. Which also means that I love you just as much as I love everyone else. See how well that works out? Everyone’s a winner/loser, in my eyes.

In this vein, I’m going to start a new series of posts entitled: This Isn’t Completely Terrible.

First up: This Video for Red House Furniture in High Point, North Carolina!

I know this is a cop out, because Sarah Silverman put it up on her Twitter way back in like … last week. But the fact of the matter is: I’m lazy, people. Get over it. Or don’t. I don’t give a rat’s ass. Threevue does this shit too. They call it “Weekend Entertainment”. So really, don’t blame me, blame them. At any rate, watch the video. It’ll make you proud to be a black American… or a white American.

And when it comes down to it, it isn’t completely terrible.

Wait… Ron Howard? You mean… that Ron Howard? There’s only one, right?

I fully thought this was a joke until about two minutes in, and it became crystal clear that it was… in fact… not.

Seriously though, R-How… Whatcha doin’? The Whos just not doing it for you anymore? Need some more spice in your life? And by spice, I mean a man dressed up in a panda suit, extolling the joys of “feeling on your butt-what”?

Career in a rut-what? Or just bored? Or did it on a dare-where?

But I think the real question is: why didn’t you bust out any of your patented Howard moves? Seriously. Way to half-ass it. I’m looking at you, too, Whitaker.