This Is, In Fact, Completely Terrible: Late to the Party Edition: TheEasyMode.com

This is somehow related.

Saboteurs!  False Prophets!  Sheep in Wolves’ Clothing!

Those nincompoops (or should I say… THREEcompoops?!) over at Threevue dot com thought they could escape our ire by changing their address.   That’s funny, because my ex-boyfriend thought the same thing when he moved across the country, got a new phone number, legally changed his name, and took out that restraining order.  If shenanigans like that didn’t stop me from sending him dolls made out of my own hair, baptized in samples of his old bathwater, then it sure as shingles isn’t going to get me to stop calling Rascall, Marcus, and el Tigre out on their shit.

At the moment, they’re running under the name The Easy Mode.  As a nom de guerre, I suppose I can’t knock it.  However, dear readers, you’ll be pleased to know that in their frantic strides to attempt to live up to Twovue standards, they’ve hired on two more staff writers, Stan and George.  I’m pretty sure those names are right, but as usual, I can’t be bothered to make sure.  If they won’t acknowledge our superiority with regard to precedence as well as quality, then what do I owe them?  I’ll tell you, reader.  Nothing but grief.  A big, steaming pile of grief.  Drizzled with revenge.  And topped with blogging.  Rich, creamy, blogging.

Look.  I’ve been really ill for like a week, and I’m so hopped up on NyQuil right now that I’m almost prepared to let this whole situation fly.  Not to mention I’m watching The Hunger, and I’m a little distracted by this whole Susan Sarandon, Katherine Deneuve love scene thing.  Make that a lot distracted.  All I’m saying is, you can’t just change your name and expect everything to just what was I saying?  This is a really great movie.  Now they’re in a pool?

Awesome.

Yuk it up, dweebs

This is GANDHI. Learn the name. I feel as if someday, he will be viewed as an important historical figure.

Okay. If you’ve been following the intrigue around here, you’ll know that those ruffians over at Threevue unabashedly and unashamedly and underhandedly (but most assuredly not unintentionally) ripped off not only our site name, but our color scheme and bannner as well.

Now they’ve taken it a step further. In their latest podcast (here), they make it seem as if THEIRS was the original site, and we are doing this as some sort of comedic stunt. Listen, I am not above a well-executed, elaborate internet hoax (Do you remember the days when we all thought Britney Spears was a real human, rather than a self-destructing android? And now we think back and laugh… laugh… laugh…), but we were first – timestamps DO NOT LIE. Unfortunately, videogamers do. In their depraved culture of running all over the land rescuing helpless princessi (it’s called STALKING, friends), flattening your enemies by stomping on them (animal cruelty!!!), and shooting people point-blank in the face (do you have a permit for that piece?!?), it’s no small wonder that they would pull a stunt like this and expect it to simply blow over.

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist.

-Keyser Söze

Possibly the greatest pisser-off-er in the entire joint was the fact that a certain Mr. Taylor did not know who Leonard Cohen is. You know, this guy:

Rusty put him straight, pointing out L-Co was recently featured in Watchmen, but seriously… Amateurs! I guess I shouldn’t let my blind rage… blind me. After all, sometimes I get L-Co confused with this dude:

Who do these JACKHOLES think they’re kidding.

The gauntlet has beeen THROWN.

I cry FOUL, sirs!

These RUFFIANS shall NOT PASS.

threevue dot com

I knew I should never have taken that extended vacation in Barbados. It seems that in my absence, usurpers have attempted to sully the # + vue name. You will regret this, Taylor, Ross, and Marc. You will, and you SHALL.