this isn’t completely terrible, vol. 2: Bourgeois Pig in Hollywood

Location, location, location.

Something about crippling depression, finals week, and constantly being surrounded by inbred jackholes can really suck the funny right out of you.

Luckily, I don’t really care, and you’re going to be subjected to my shit regardless.

On that note, welcome to another edition of “this isn’t completely terrible“, with me, Kim.

Like I was telling some dear friends recently, after inhaling far too much gasoline fumes and spending far too much time in the hot, hot sun (just like OMC says), I hate myself, but generally, I hate other people more, so it looks like I still have some semblance of self-esteem.

Which is probably what propels me to do things like to go cafes with names like Bourgeois Pig. Located in breathtaking Hollywood, California, right across the street from what I believe is the Scientology Celebrity Center*, the Bourgeois Pig serves coffee, pastries, and cafe food. It’s obviously way too blue-blooded for me (it’s in the name, for Christ’s sake), but I go there anyway because it reaffirms everything I hate about Los Angeles while simultaneously serving me delicious drinks and intriguing eye candy, both in human and decorative form. It’s really a win-win situation. But you don’t have to trust me, I’m not the only one raving about it. User Sir Felgar on the Zagat website exclaims,

Way overpriced and somehwat[sic] pretentious(.)

Which is cool, because that’s what all my Johns tend to say about me. Not to leave any doubt about the place, CarolS0256 adds:

It could be cleaner.

this isn’t completely terrible, vol. 1: red house furniture

I’ve realized recently that I rarely, if ever, talk about the things in life that I actually ENJOY. Unfortunately, I am generally so overtaken by my general hate for the human species that I overlook the small things that make life beautiful.

You see, it’s not that I don’t LOVE other humans – it’s just that I don’t LIKE you. Most importantly, I’m egalitarian about my hate. Don’t worry. I hate you just like I hate every one else. Which also means that I love you just as much as I love everyone else. See how well that works out? Everyone’s a winner/loser, in my eyes.

In this vein, I’m going to start a new series of posts entitled: This Isn’t Completely Terrible.

First up: This Video for Red House Furniture in High Point, North Carolina!

I know this is a cop out, because Sarah Silverman put it up on her Twitter way back in like … last week. But the fact of the matter is: I’m lazy, people. Get over it. Or don’t. I don’t give a rat’s ass. Threevue does this shit too. They call it “Weekend Entertainment”. So really, don’t blame me, blame them. At any rate, watch the video. It’ll make you proud to be a black American… or a white American.

And when it comes down to it, it isn’t completely terrible.