Wait… Ron Howard? You mean… that Ron Howard? There’s only one, right?

I fully thought this was a joke until about two minutes in, and it became crystal clear that it was… in fact… not.

Seriously though, R-How… Whatcha doin’? The Whos just not doing it for you anymore? Need some more spice in your life? And by spice, I mean a man dressed up in a panda suit, extolling the joys of “feeling on your butt-what”?

Career in a rut-what? Or just bored? Or did it on a dare-where?

But I think the real question is: why didn’t you bust out any of your patented Howard moves? Seriously. Way to half-ass it. I’m looking at you, too, Whitaker.

sexting: the latest thing a snappy nickname has taken all the fun out of.

‘Sending sexy SMS’s to my ex’s new man, ‘cuz I can.’

- Musical anomaly Why?

Listen: I enjoy seeing unsolicited candids of my friends’ and compatriots’ naughty bits flash up on my phone as much as the next person (which is to say, quite a lot). After all, I don’t like to keep the same wallpaper on my Blackberry for longer than a few days.

But lately, there has been a lot of ruckus in the mainstream media about how such practices are “inappropriate” and “dangerous”. Obviously, these people have never been exposed to the wonder that is boobs.

More filth mongering after the break…

Texes to Tyler, Word Mercury via Satellite

Sometimes a man sends a text to his buddy.  Sometimes He does it in a narcoleptic stupor.  Often a man is reminded that texts cost money, and maybe he should curb the nonsense and respect the financial constraints a self supporting college student faces.  

Texes to Tyler:

 The sound of bare feet on cobblestone bled into the echos of the children saying ‘chicle  chicle’.

 ’Vamanos’ he said and if you must pack anything,

leave room enough for our dreams.’

Who do these JACKHOLES think they’re kidding.

The gauntlet has beeen THROWN.

I cry FOUL, sirs!

These RUFFIANS shall NOT PASS.

threevue dot com

I knew I should never have taken that extended vacation in Barbados. It seems that in my absence, usurpers have attempted to sully the # + vue name. You will regret this, Taylor, Ross, and Marc. You will, and you SHALL.